I Got The Coronavirus And It Sucked
There was more to it than just my health.
By Jamie Mah @grahammah
On March 15th of last year, the world changed. The coronavirus had finally struck. Like the massive iceberg in the Titanic, its slow decent upon our way of life was no longer something we could ignore. It was here and Rudy Gobert was to blame. His positive test after an NBA game thrust a domino effect that would ultimately lead the entire world into full lockdown mode within just several days.
At the time, my head was spinning. What the hell just happened? How can I go from serving hundreds of guests at my hotel one night to being forced to stay home just a few nights later? The flip in reality was stark and jarring. I had so many questions, the least of which was my health. At 39 and in good shape, there was never a moment where I feared for my safety. COVID-19 seemed like a weird flu people from far off lands were getting. My reality seemed the same even if I was no longer able to work. None of my friends or family members had the virus. None of their friends or family members did either. The threat we were supposed to take seriously didn’t feel like a threat at all, which naturally gave rise to skepticism. Doubt. Conspiracy. Was this real? How serious is this?
Many in my circle felt the same way. But what could we do? The world had shut down. So we waited. We met in small groups. Ate dinners. Met for beers outside. Summer was approaching. Bike trips were had. It was nice having the time off. The threat never materialized. Numbers rose yes. Some died and I cared. It was sad to hear. But I lived in Chinatown. Overdoses happened daily. Those lives and deaths seemed more real. Imminent. Tragic. It was hard to rationalize why one got so much attention while the other did not?
As humans, we’re not built to understand or grapple with the world and its size. If we did we’d be crippled by all the sadness in it. It’s why we care about our friends and family and that’s it. It’s all we can handle. We empathize sure, but when you’re told to care about something that doesn’t seem real to you, it’s hard to stay the course of better judgement for all when your own desires get in the way.
We are all guilty of this. “It’s only just a few friends. No big deal.” Time after time our “but’s” became the routine. Reasons to flout orders. Until they aren’t.
Once patio season dried up, the world flipped. We all went inside. The virus followed and it came fighting with a vengeance. Numbers began to rise once more. Lockdowns emerged all over. Restrictions came into place. Movements and one’s social responsibility sharpened. Like the first class passengers on the Titanic, for many, myself included, it took awhile to understand that our world order was slowly sinking. Names began to appear in my sphere of those who were sick. They had contracted the virus. COVID was real! I always knew and respected that it was, but until you know of it in your own circle, it’s really hard to relate, empathize, rationalize, and put into context.
Then two weeks ago it happened. I got sick. I went to get tested and was told I was positive with COVID-19. Then things got bad. My fever emerged. Aches followed suit. Heavy sweats took me over. It was tolerable but a brutal experience. This went on for several days. At times you felt the worst had passed then a rush of aches would emerge to topple you once more. I will stop myself here as I know full well that what I felt and went through was mild in comparison to the many who have and continue to struggle with this virus in deadlier forms. No complaints on my end. I was lucky. A lot of those who have contracted the virus have not been and my heart goes out to them and their families. This pandemic sucks and when I touched on that at the top in my title, part of what I wanted to discuss was not only the virus but the reverberations of my actions and how they affected so many others. This to me is where everything hit home, when I had to tell BC Coastal Health who I’d seen over the past few days. What interactions I’d had.
Those decisions, the one’s you and I make everyday affect so many and when forced to recognize that, it really bothered me that some of my choices had grave consequences for my friends and co-workers. This virus infected me but it affected so many others in my world. It’s always been easy to lose sight of that because we’re selfish people. We can always rationalize what’s important to us. It’s just a few friends, no one will know, can end up touching so many others and that’s what sucks. Friends of mine had to quarantine because I became ill.
Sometimes the threat is so far away you never think it’s real, until one day it is. I was lucky. A small amount of us will not be.
When you see the iceberg hit next time, don’t wait, just get in that fucking life boat.